July 29th, 2012
The Olympics officially got under way Friday with the much-anticipated opening ceremony, titled “Isles of Wonder,” which, as the name suggests, was a spectacular three-hour tribute to Hawaii.
No, seriously, it was a tribute to Great Britain, starting with the past, when this was a rural society - depicted in the show by 120 actual farm animals, including sheep, horses and cows - then moving forward through Britain’s many great historic achievements such as the Beatles. The complex and imaginative show went off without a hitch, except for one unfortunate incident when four of the sheep were shot by members of the Kazakhstani Olympic archery team, who apparently misunderstood the nature of the event.
But I digress..
Speaking of international incidents:
Mitt “Mitt” Romney, who is running for president of the United States, showed up here in Great Britain, despite the fact that this is a foreign country. Mitt immediately got into hot water by committing a gaffe, which is the word we use when a supposedly experienced politician makes the stupid mistake of saying, out loud, what he actually thinks.
This happened in an interview with NBC’s Brian Williams.
Brian asked Mitt if he thought the Brits were ready to host the games.
This is a question that has only one politically acceptable answer, namely: “Yes.”
Even if, at that very moment, Mitt could see Syrian troops entering Trafalgar Square and a mushroom cloud rising over the Houses of Parliament, he was supposed to answer;
“Yes, Brian, absolutely, they are ready.”
Instead, he expressed some mild concerns about the level of Olympic preparedness.
The British press was DEEPLY offended.
This is pretty funny when you consider that the same British press has spent months and months loudly and repeatedly expressing grave concerns about the level of Olympic preparedness.
But when Mitt did it, the Brits were outraged, OUTRAGED I SAY!
Many journalists had to take time out from questioning Britain’s Olympic preparedness to declare that Mitt was an idiot for questioning Britain’s Olympic preparedness.
How dare he!
Satire intended, so take it easy guys.